Beiträge mit tag "Fail
Mathe ist ein Arschloch
5…so titelt die Twitteraturkritik. Gegenstand des Artikels ist folgender Tweet, der schon den Status einer Legende erreicht hat:
Wo ist der Fehler? Ich gestehe, ich habe ihn als Mathelegastheniker auch lange nicht erkannt…;-)
cd
WPML 1.7.8 killt Dashboard!
3Ein kleiner Tip an alle, die wie ich das WPML-Plugin für ein mehrsprachiges WordPress-Blog verwenden. Heute ist ein Update auf 1.7.8 rausgekommen – NICHT INSTALLIEREN! EIN DOWNGRADE AUF EINE FUNKTIONIERENDE VERSION IST NUR SCHWER MÖGLICH!
Ein Fehler in der sitepress.php sorgt für einen Ausfall des Dahsboards (diesen Eintrag zu schreiben war schon ein kleines Abenteuer
).
Der Bug ist bekannt und wird im Moment geflickt. Wer schon geupdatet hat und wie ich nun ein zerschossenes Dashboard hat:
Der Fehler ist in der sitepress.php des Plugins in Zeile 1229. Eine der Klammern ist falsch gesetzt und killt das Javascript für das Dashboard. Ein offizieller Fix steht aus, aber es gibt eine Anleitung, wie man den Fehler selbst korrigieren kann.
cd
EDIT 02.06.2010, 0:24 Uhr: Der Fehler ist mit der Version 1.7.8.1 behoben worden.
Lena Meyer Landrut braucht mich!
9…als Trainer…aber ganz dringend! Ich habe heute Nacht beim Arbeiten nebenbei TV Total laufen lassen und stelle fest, dass Stimme wie Optik ziemlich ok sind…aber das Englisch von ihr phonetisch sowas von grausam…damit würde ich die im Leben nicht nach Oslo lassen..
EDIT: JETZT weiß ich, woher ich die Stimme kenne…als, sagen wir, popularmedienmäßig eher uninformierter Mensch hab ich bei diesem unsäglichen “Satellite” immer gegrübelt, woher die Sängerin wohl stammen mag…das ist eine gräßliche Mischung aus US-britischem (gut, daran ist was das gemischte Vokabular angeht wohl eher Raab schuld) Englisch, das teilweise durch die ständigen Überbetonungen in nen spanischen Akzent rutscht…ich hab die Frau vom Hören für ne Puertoricanerin gehalten, die verzweifelt versucht, auf Hochenglisch zu singen…au Mann, ist das übel
EDIT2: Jetzt weiß ich auch, welcher Sängerin ich das Lied zugeschoben hatte…Alesha Dixon..die klingt so ähnlich für mich…
cd
The Germans: What yodeling has to do with Pearl Harbor
3One of the most cliché-based questions I have been asked is: Do you Germans really yodel?
Short answer: No, we don’t.
Comprehensive Answer: Not anymore. Yodeling has been banned all over Germany ever since the inventor of the traditional “Jodeln”, Afred Jodl” was found guilty in the Nuremberg Trials and hanged as a war criminal.
Only people of non-German origin are nowadays allowed to perform the act of public yodeling. Arguably the best yodler of all times is the Japanese artist Takeo Ischi, grandmaster of the ancient art of Kamikaze-Yodeling, probably best known for his Japanese-language yodeling-version of “Remember Pearl Harbor”. In 1941 Ischi’s father was given the choice between either becoming one of Japan’s famous suicide-bombers and joining his comrades in the attack on Pearl Harbor or becoming a yodeling Ninja . He chose the latter and was sent to Germany as a ninja assassin. His orders were to infiltrate the Wolf’s Lair and to assassinate Adolf Hitler and his Generals through a sudden act of Kamikaze-yodeling. Unfortunately he decided to hide under the desk in which Claus Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg ,leader of the “20 July Plot” , codename “Operation Valkyrie” , had planted the bomb that was to kill Hitler. In a wicked twist of fate, both attempts to put an earlier end to World War II failed, as Ischi Senior’s body was torn apart by the bomb Stauffenberg had planted, leaving Hitler almost unharmed. Adolf Hitler and his wife Eva Braun both died in 2009 in a waterboarding accident in southeast Cuba.
cd
RTL – abgebrannt? Gutes Händchen für Werbung
5Ich habe es nur durch Zufall gesehen und musste sofort einen Screenshot machen…gerade eben auf der Startseite von RTL:
Da hat die Schlüsselwortsuche doch mal richtig gepasst…
cd
German School Shootings: 1 – Robert Steinhaeuser (Erfurt 2002) in a nutshell
2Alright, since killing sprees have become all the rage (literally…) here in Germany and since this is a major research field for me and also because most of the available material is in German, I decided to drop the “Dude, you bent my tower” series for a while and start a “Brief history of the killing spree” instead.
While the cases of Tim Kretschmer and Georg R. are far more recent, the Steinhaeuser case is still widely considered “the original school shooting” here. That’s why I start with him.
The following information is taken from the final report of the official investigation conducted by the state of Thuringia. The unabridged report in German language is available for download here.
On the 26th of April 2002 the former pupil Robert Steinhaeuser (original spelling: Robert Steinhäuser) armed himself with a Glock 17 9mm semiautomatic pistol and a Mossberg 590 pump-action shotgun and entered the Johannes Gutenberg Gymnasium in Erfurt, Eastern Germany to take revenge for having been expelled.
He had faked a doctor’s certificate to circumvent an examination but was caught and kicked from the shool by the headmistress (US English: principal).
He shot twelve teachers, a secretary, two pupils and a policeman before killing himself in room 111 with a contact-shot to the temple using the Glock after one of the teachers had locked the door behind him. He did not fire a single shot with the shotgun.
As a sports marksman he was licensed to buy and own both weapons and ammunition of the above type.
On his killing spree he carried a total of roughly 110 rounds of 9mm Luger in five clips and 19 twelve-gauge shotgun shells made by Baschieri&Bellagri (9 in the gun, 10 more in his pocket) with him. Furthermore he had a Cordura-holster for the Glock strapped to his thigh, was dressed all in black and wore a black ski mask and hearing protection.
In one of the restrooms on the first floor the police found a stash of 142 12-gauge shells, 338 rounds of 9mm Luger, a large clip filled with 31 rounds, a small clip filled with 17 rounds of 9mm Luger, a machete and a diver’s knife.
72 bullet casings were found in the building, they had all been fired from Steinhaeuser’s Glock 17 except for one which had been fired by one of the policemen after Steinhaeuser had opened fire on them in the schoolyard.
While a lot of information circulating the internet is correct, I’d like to clarify some things here:
1. NOT A SINGLE SHOT was fired from the Mossberg.
2. The dead policeman was not shot inside the building when he “stuck his head through the door”!
He and his parter arrived second on the scene and observed their colleague firing a shot towards the schoolyard. The victim Go. and his partner waited a short while (“…a while…how long I cannot tell at all…”, p. 112) before proceeding towards the building. On the way Go. was still busy putting on his body armor when he was struck in the neck by a bullet fired from a “window almost directly above him” (p. 112). When he fell, he lost the body armor (it was the type one closes at the side, at least the back part “flipped to the side again”, p. 112) and was hit by three more shots. The fatal one went straight through his chest, from the fact that the fatal bullet was found in his clothing, the investigators assumed the bullet “hit him lying down”.
3. Due to a book which was published by Ines Geipel after the killing spree (“Fuer heute reicht’s”, = “That’s enough for today”, Steinhaeusers last words to the teacher who then locked him into room 111. When Steinhaeuser walked up to him and pointed the gun in his face, the teacher, Mr. Heise said: “You can shoot me now…” ) a lot of rumours spread in the German media that Steinhauser had taken the infamous “Tilidin”, an opioid-based painkiller (a prescription drug in Germany and Switzerland, but illegal in the USA) which is said to be used by various gangs before acts of gang violence. The drug causes rage when overdosed while at the same time it makes the aggressors “almost immune to pain”. Well…it’s a PAINkiller after all…;)
Whether the attributed effects are true in general is a different story, but regarding Steinhaeuser the post-mortem toxscreen was clean. No alcohol, no drugs in his blood (p. 60). They found some weed in his jacket, though…
So the Tilidin-story is clearly a hoax. In the quoted interviews, friends of Steinhaeuser’s admitted, they had “experimented” with various drugs, including Tilidin, LSD etc. The rumour hence is obviously “creative interpretation” which was then picked up by almost every German tabloid paper.
4. The reason for Steinhaeusers killing spree may not be as simple as it may appear to people unfamiliar with the German school system.
I. He was UNLAWFULLY expelled from the school! While faking a doctor’s certificate to circumvent an examination is forgery, this alone would not have been enough to kick him out for good. The headmistress had commited an ultra vires action by expelling a first-time offender rather than just suspending him for a certain time.
II. After expulsion he was left with absolutely nothing in his hands. In 2002 the law in Thuringia required pupils who wanted an intermediate graduation certificate before moving on to higher education (see also: Fun Facts about Education in Germany) to take the necessary examinations at a school of the respective type.
While here in North-Rhine-Westfalia for example one only needs to have a certain average at the end of the tenth grade to be awarded the “Hauptschulabschluss” or “Realschulabschluss” regardless of whether they want to stay in school and go for the “Abitur” or leave, in Thuringia this was not the case at that time.
Steinhauser had attempted the “Realschulabschluss”-exam, but had failed. His only hope now was going on and passing the “Abitur”. Not being a particularly good pupil, Steinhaeuser had had his doubts about whether he would make it.
The expulsion meant, he would not have had either of the possible certificates. Neither the “Realschulabschluss” nor the “Abitur”. Basically a future employer would have treated him as if he had never been to school at all…
I think with this background in mind, the desperation in Steinhauser and the anger towards the school and the teachers who he blamed for his failure becomes a lot more understandable and imaginable.
That’s enough for today….
cd
Dude, you bent my tower – Part II
3alright…were was I ?
Ah, yes…they gathered politicians to save the PISA-shocked Germans…I think I mentioned how one gets into the ministry of education, didn’t I ?
So they tried to figure out what went wrong and how come the country that once produced marvellously bright people such as Albert Einstein, Wernher von Braun and Juergen Klinsmann suddenly failed so horribly.
In 2000, in our trademark field, the natural sciences even the Czech Republic was better than us. We were number seven, not from the top, but BELOW THE AVERAGE!
Regarding reading comprehension, we made 21st place…regarding the relationship between exceptionally bad and exceptionally good pupils only Mexico, Brazil, Luxemburg and the Republic of Latvia had more illiterate pupils than us and on the good side we still were two places below the average. At least, we were slightly better than France…and no, I won’t mention the results regarding mathematics…
But we also had highscores. No other country had more pupils who stated they didn’t like to read (>40%). And in no other country among the countries which participated your success is as determined by your social origin as it is in Germany…even in Poland or the Russian Federation poor children have a better chance for a good education than in -as we used to call it in German- “the country of poets and thinkers”….yes…I agree…we wrote lots of poems about how good we THOUGHT we were…
Wanna know what happened ? Stay tuned…
cd
Fun Facts about Education in Germany – The basic structure
9Ok, to help you understand why I sometimes can’t help but yell at people for no reason, I’ll start with a brief introduction to what once was a working system…
1. The school system is part of the German government. Employees with a permanent contract usually have the status of a “Beamter“, so teachers are somewhat equal to policemen, judges etc. This is where the trouble starts. Germans are commonly known to be thorough whatever they do…Beamte like to plan thoroughly…they like laws…they like to be strict…they need you to fill in forms for just about anything…then they need to fill in forms too…you get the point…
Beamter is a lifetime-status. To lose it, you must be a child-molester or a mass-murderer. Otherwise you’re set for a decent pension once you turn 67. You cannot be fired for being an alcoholic…you cannot be fired for being a drug-addict…you cannot be fired for calling in sick for a period of two years or for calling in sick about every three days…you cannot be fired for being an incompetent retard…once you are awarded this status, you officially made it…girls, if you want to marry a German, marry a Beamter…you will have to apply for an application form for the permission to have sexual intercourse three days in advance and you will be given permission about two or three months after the day for which you wanted permission to have sexual intercourse on, but hey…you’ll be driving a BMW or a Mercedes…
Did I mention German teachers are usually Beamte, too? Yes…German teachers cannot be fired for being incompetent….
So what can one do? Those of you who work with/for/under/against your country’s government will already know the answer: You write them a report that certifies they’re brighter than Einstein and Hawking together and have them promoted out of your school…the other school does the same…and this usually goes on until they’re at the top of the ministry of education…and just guess how great the legislations are these people pass in this country…
2. There is no such thing as a preschool in Germany. Kindergarten isn’t mandatory, so children may be raised as vegetables until the age of 6 when they are deemed mature enough to be locked away in a classroom to their parents’ delight…
3. after four years in primary school their teachers will recommend what type of secondary school their parents should send them to:
-the Hauptschule (5-6 more grades, lowest grade of education, usually leads to crate-shifting in a warehouse, alcoholism and/or suicide)
-the Realschule (6 more grades, medium grade of education, usually leads to a more or less decent career in an office of some kind)
-the Gymnasium (9 more grades, highest grade of education leading to the “Abitur”, the only grade which allows access to universities)
There is one hybrid school called the “Gesamtschule”, a formerly experimental type of school which coeducates children of any capability and offers all available grades up to the Abitur…some states in Germany consider them a failure and abolished them shortly after their introduction, other states consider them a great invention…
Another special form is the “Foerderschule”, a school for the mentally incapacitated/disabled, children with physical disabilities, children with behavioural problems and educational basket cases, usually leads to having your application rejected no matter how bad the job is you apply for…
4. For those who strive for a non-academic career, Germany has a thing called the “Duales System” (=dual-system, ironically, the same term is used for households dividing their garbage into organic and non-organic and thus needing a grey and a yellow garbage can…). They become an apprentice (if they manage to find a company who offers apprenticeships…) and work for six months, then they go to a “Berufsschule” (“profession-school” = vocational school) for six months, then go back to work for six months etc…after three years they’re done…
So much for the basics, more on Wikipedia if you care…
cd

















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