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Contra » Die ganze Welt des Wahnsinns

Beiträge mit tag "Contra

Noch mehr Videospielgeschichte

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Es scheint Retro-Saison zu sein. Das Kraftfuttermischwerk verlinkt auf ein Stop-Motion Video, das aus rund 7000 Einzelbildern besteht und die größten NES-Klassiker (Mega Man, Legend of Zelda, Super Mario Bros. etc.) vereint:

cd

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Fun Facts about Education in Germany – The basic structure

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Ok, to help you understand why I sometimes can’t help but yell at people for no reason, I’ll start with a brief introduction to what once was a working system…

1. The school system is part of the German government. Employees with a permanent contract usually have the status of a “Beamter“, so teachers are somewhat equal to policemen, judges etc. This is where the trouble starts. Germans are commonly known to be thorough whatever they do…Beamte like to plan thoroughly…they like laws…they like to be strict…they need you to fill in forms for just about anything…then they need to fill in forms too…you get the point…
Beamter is a lifetime-status. To lose it, you must be a child-molester or a mass-murderer. Otherwise you’re set for a decent pension once you turn 67. You cannot be fired for being an alcoholic…you cannot be fired for being a drug-addict…you cannot be fired for calling in sick for a period of two years or for calling in sick about every three days…you cannot be fired for being an incompetent retard…once you are awarded this status, you officially made it…girls, if you want to marry a German, marry a Beamter…you will have to apply for an application form for the permission to have sexual intercourse three days in advance and you will be given permission about two or three months after the day for which you wanted permission to have sexual intercourse on, but hey…you’ll be driving a BMW or a Mercedes…
Did I mention German teachers are usually Beamte, too? Yes…German teachers cannot be fired for being incompetent….
So what can one do? Those of you who work with/for/under/against your country’s government will already know the answer: You write them a report that certifies they’re brighter than Einstein and Hawking together and have them promoted out of your school…the other school does the same…and this usually goes on until they’re at the top of the ministry of education…and just guess how great the legislations are these people pass in this country…

2. There is no such thing as a preschool in Germany. Kindergarten isn’t mandatory, so children may be raised as vegetables until the age of 6 when they are deemed mature enough to be locked away in a classroom to their parents’ delight…

3. after four years in primary school their teachers will recommend what type of secondary school their parents should send them to:

-the Hauptschule (5-6 more grades, lowest grade of education, usually leads to crate-shifting in a warehouse, alcoholism and/or suicide)
-the Realschule (6 more grades, medium grade of education, usually leads to a more or less decent career in an office of some kind)
-the Gymnasium (9 more grades, highest grade of education leading to the “Abitur”, the only grade which allows access to universities)

There is one hybrid school called the “Gesamtschule”, a formerly experimental type of school which coeducates children of any capability and offers all available grades up to the Abitur…some states in Germany consider them a failure and abolished them shortly after their introduction, other states consider them a great invention…

Another special form is the “Foerderschule”, a school for the mentally incapacitated/disabled, children with physical disabilities, children with behavioural problems and educational basket cases, usually leads to having your application rejected no matter how bad the job is you apply for…

4. For those who strive for a non-academic career, Germany has a thing called the “Duales System” (=dual-system, ironically, the same term is used for households dividing their garbage into organic and non-organic and thus needing a grey and a yellow garbage can…). They become an apprentice (if they manage to find a company who offers apprenticeships…) and work for six months, then they go to a “Berufsschule” (“profession-school” = vocational school) for six months, then go back to work for six months etc…after three years they’re done…

So much for the basics, more on Wikipedia if you care…

cd

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Yes, I do speak other languages…

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Hello and welcome to my English-speaking readers!

I made a special category for postings in the English language so from now I will occasionally write something intended for a more widespread audience…
This blog was originally intended to be about GermanAlice, the German version of the popular Alicebot. Since the mailing lists’ lingua franca is English, I decided not to exclude a large portion of the Alice-community any longer and maybe show them bits of my world besides the development of talking machines…

The blog is titled “School – Education – Educational Sciences – Psychology – Violence – The world of madness”.
Over time I will gradually explain why I chose this title.

A brief explanation for now:

I studied to be a school teacher for philosophy and the English language, worked in the university’s department of educational sciences for a while, specialised in educational psychology with focus on more severe disorders such as Borderline and similar personality disorders and juvenile violence, school shootings and the likes, did some research, published some stuff, got a deep insight into the German education system…and you know what they say…what was seen cannot be unseen…

Today, I’m a happy freelancer and I teach the English language to anyone who wants to learn it…I do freelance work for some schools and I have contracts with some firms in the area…

So don’t expect any highly scientific stuff here, I mainly use this book as a means of stress-and-anger-relief whenever Germany and the Germans drive me up the wall again…

cd

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